Journeys thorugh life

jealousy is finally out of my system, for now

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 08:45:13 GMT

Every sunday, whenever my parents would go attend the mass in my favorite church I went along as much as I could. However, I wan't able to absorb the mass for one, I don't like the way the priest delivered his homily. He said he was a former Physical Therapist and was called to priesthood, but that's not the reason. Ok, I acknowledge that studying to become a PT is hard, and that he is knowledgeable in his career. However, during his homily, he was usingwhat we Filipinos calls "TagLish". It's a way of speaking where you combines English and Filipino (Tagalog). In a church, there are many different people, a mix of both worlds, the rich and the poor, and there's also the middle class where we belong. So now, if he's been using both the language during the homily, how could the uneducated who wanted to hear God's words understand what he was saying? He keeps on stating English phrases that are best said in Filipino to be understood by many. Plus he exampled a kid given a toy, a computer and a bible, and said that the boy would most likely to choose a toy instead of a bible. As if he didn't went through being a kid! Of course he would choose the toy, it's a natural thing. But the way he said it, he makes it like a sin!

That priest made my mood worse. Usually, it's only my parents, and I who attend the mass on that particular church, sometimes with my younger brother, but seldomly does my older brother comes along. Ok now is where my jealousy towards my older brother started. I have a laptop and its memory needs to be upgraded, so then I told my mother to help me pay for it and she says yes. During the time, my older brother also wishes for a digital camera he saw and it costs around P10,000 (around 200 dollars). On the day that I was supposed to buy the upgrade for my laptop, my brother also wishes to buy the digicam. My mother gave the full payment to my brother forgetting everything about paying for my upgrade. It happens a lot lately but i made it pass. That was in April I guess. The week before last I showed my mother the requirements for my Capping Ceremony this week, included in there was the necessary payment. At the same week, my brother (again!) wished for an iPhone! The last day of paying went by without my mother remembering it. Luckily, cause I expected that would happen, I had money with me so I was able to pay for it. Prior to that last day of payment my brother already bought the iPhone which costs P18,000 (around 360 dollars). See why I expected she would forgot? For a whole week, I could not smile to anyone at home. It pains me so much that such favoritism keeps on repeating! Before, when I was about to leave for school I always kiss my mother goodbye, but for this whole week I never do so. I can't look straight to her eyes, I might just burst out crying. When I got home, I lock myself inside my room and went out only in time for dinner and went back in right after.

After the mass, as miracle as it can be, i was able to forget my jealousy like the wind blew it off. My older brother just talked to me a little and it wears off. When we got home, he showed me his phone, cause my friends send him messages sometimes, and i was surprised not to feel any jealousy. I wonder if coming to the church that day made the difference. I'm just thankful it does wear off. It's such a burden for me to ignore my family.

i got locked out~ damn!

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 11:23:19 GMT

For months now since May I think, I've been sleeping in my parent's room. They have a large bed, so the three of us (an older brother 19, and a younger brother 10) were sharing it. On some night only my younger brother and I shares the bed cause my older brother has to prepare his case studies. My parents sleeps on a mattress beside ours.

As what frequently happens, I left the my room to sleep in their at around 9pm (unusual cause i'm tired from hospital duty), turned the knob and to my surprise it was locked! I'm from the Philippines and the cost of electricity here is too much and so we had to save. That means i can't used the air conditioner in my room though I'm inside! I tried knocking at few, nobody answers. I got no other choice but to return to my humid room and try to sleep. At around 11pm my mom knocked at my door and guess what she asked me first? "Have you fallen asleep already?" Arrgghh~ And here I thought that she would ask me to transfer to their room cause it's cooler. I thought she realized it was hot it my room and was concerned of me! It just added to a week's grudge and jealousy over my brother! I never wanted to sleep in their room that night so althought I told her I'd sleep in their room, I just remained in my room crumpled in my messy bed.

The next day was no good. I woke up at around 1:25 am to a stomach ache. It was a painful one, though I've already voided, it felt as though my whole intestines were filled with shit! I've never slept after, I stayed in front of my laptop, searched the next and watched anime on crunchyroll. When it's beginning to become bright outside, I got a signal that my period is near. What a day~ Too much pain!

2nd hospital duty

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 08:35:54 GMT

Compared to yesterday's hospital duty, today was more relaxed and I think we worked much more organized. I get to help other patients too not only the one that was assigned to me. My SOAPIE was also much better than the one I did yesterday. Today I learned that, abdomen is not a site for hot compress. My Clinical Instructor told us that our patient's vessels might burst and that would lead for further unnecessary injuries. Because it is an OB ward and most patients can go home within 24 hours after delivery, there were cases when we are to assist in removing catheters. I volunteered myself for one of the removals but unfortunately, there was no doctor's order yet so I wasn't able to perform it.

We have different patient than yesterday so the attitudes and atmosphere inside the patient's room is noticeably different. Today my patient is having preterm labor and her baby is only 33 weeks. At first I thought that it would be hard because she might be experiencing pain, and therefore may be irritable. I was so surprised that when we got to talk to her, she was very lively and kind. Nobody would feel bored around her. She keeps on telling things about her and her children including her recent pregnancy, her husband who told her not to check out of the hospital unless she's had her delivery. We all laughed including the interns that were keeping watch on her conditions. By the way, because her condition is delicate, she is not to be left alone and her vital signs were monitored every now and then. There was this male intern that was there when I returned to check on her vital signs, he was friendly and the patient was having a good time talking to him. When I got there, he had already taken my patient's vital signs so I was only to copy it. Unfortunately, they were not monitoring her temperature so I had to get it. While during so, he asked questions about my patient including her diagnosis, medications, and chief complaints. Luckily I was able to answer most of his questions regarding my patient's diagnosis and chief complaints but I missed to study her medications. His way of asking was nice, it didn't make me feel like he was mocking me, although it was kinda unsettling because he asked questions unexpectedly. Anyway, the experience was nice and the day ended quite nicely too.

my first hospital duty

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 07:52:32 GMT

It’s the first day of our hospital duty and I was very excited the evening prior. I wanted to have real life situations with patients having real life conditions and not just dummy from school. But I suddenly became nervous especially when it’s already the time to meet my client. I was not very vocal so it was hard for me to communicate with my patient. Today, I learned how to properly approach the staff including the interns. I had my first interaction with an intern today. She was kind and I have a feeling she was very approachable. She asked me the pulse rate and respiratory rate of my first patient Mrs. Libanan. Today I was also able to learn how to properly plot the vital signs on the sheet.

It was an 8-hour duty. We can't leave the patient's side, besides it's only 1:1 *first timers*. After our duty ended at 2pm, I was very tired. Really very tired. My eyes had wanted to shut already. I got home half an hour later, but there's no way I could rest because I still have to do my requirements that's due next week. I have to pass 2 reaction papers for my minor subjects, memorize minimum of 5 drugs including its indications, contraindications, side effect, adverse reactions, etc. Then I have to study in advance for pre-tests on my major subjects. Ahh~ studying sure is hard...